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| CHANGING BLOG USERNAME |
| 03.19.05 (9:12 am) [edit] |
rikanonaka (rikanonaka.tblog.com)
is changing to
Farfarello (Farfarello.tblog.com)
Will update tfriends and so on..
Thank you for listening..
Farfarello
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| tee hee school joke |
| 03.19.05 (5:12 am) [edit] |
An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.
A smartass jock in the back of the room asked, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "You can write with your other hand."
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| "WALMART PRANKS 69 actually" |
| 03.19.05 (4:42 am) [edit] |
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"
6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
8. Make a trail of ketchup on the ground, leading to the restrooms
9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all on and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look amazed and say, "Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming "Mission Impossible".
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them
47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."
52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
53. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly take off with it without saying a word.
54. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
55. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
56. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
57. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."
58. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
59. Redress the mannequins as you see fit.
60. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
61. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
62. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
63. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
64. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
65. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
66. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
67. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
68. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it!
69. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming!"
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| Bush, Laura, and Dick Cheney |
| 03.19.05 (4:30 am) [edit] |
So, Bush, Laura, and Dick Cheney are all sitting in an airplane. Bush pulls out a 1thousand dollar bill and says, "hey, i could drop this out the window and make 1 person happy."
Laura whips out ten 100 dollar bills and says,"hey, i could drop this out the window and make 10 people happy."
Cheney gets 100 ten dollar bills out and says,"yeah? well, i could drop these suckers and make 100 people happy."
While they're arguing about it, the pilot says to the copilot,"I could drop three people out of the plane and make 48 million happy."
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| Recognizing George |
| 03.19.05 (4:28 am) [edit] |
A man died in a horrible fire. The mortician thought it was George, but the body was so badly burned that somebody would need to make a positive identification. That task fell to George's two friends, Joe and Al.
Joe: "He's burnt pretty bad, all right. Roll him over." Joe looked at the dead man's buttocks and said, "Nope, that ain't George."
Thinking the incident strange, the mortician straightened up the body and said nothing. He brought in Al.
Al: "Wow, he's burnt to a crisp. Roll him over." Again, "Nope, that ain't George."
Mortician: "How can you tell?"
Al: "George had two assholes."
Mortician: "What? How could he have two assholes?"
Al: "Everybody knew George had two assholes. Whenever the three of us would go into town you'd hear people say, "Here comes George with those two assholes!"
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| Only in America |
| 03.19.05 (4:23 am) [edit] |
Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America are there "Handicap" parking in front of a skate park.
Only in America do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures."
Only in America can a coldblooded murderer get off with insanity, while a drunk gets put in for vehicular manslaughter.
Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
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| screw this.. |
| 03.19.05 (3:58 am) [edit] |
why do i even fucking bother..?
i've got an average of 4,5 that is like a b+ and dear mother is still not satisfied..
why do i bother??
why do i fucking bother?!
and this is in a foriegn school so im learning in a second language and only like three kids in my class have got a b+ average or higher.. and my dear mother is still not satesfied..
y'know that kitchen knife is starting to look very friendly right now..
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| How to cause anarchy at school.. |
| 03.14.05 (3:19 am) [edit] |
1. Get a syringe (minus needle) or similar device. Mix both tubes of epoxy glue with a little rubbing alcohol. You now have about half an hour to fill locks, door jambs, etc. before glue hardens. If you can't get the epoxy glue and syringe a tube of airplane cement can also be used although it is not as permanent.
2. An alternative use for the syringe is to pretend to shoot up while a teacher is watching. If they speak to you tell them you have to do it because school is so horrible.
3. Call the school and leave the phone off the hook. The way some (but not all) phone systems work this will tie up their phone for as long as yours is off the hook.
4. Protest U.S. aid to reactionary regimes abroad by defoliating plants around the school or by digging a bomb crater on the front lawn. When the ecology freaks complain ask them where they were when the U.S. was doing the same thing to Indochina.
5. Draw or paste something 'obscene' on pull-down wall maps or movie screens.
6. Get some of the punch cards that your school uses for taking attendance. Punch new holes in them either with a keypunch machine or a screwdriver. Then switch the cards with others wherever they are stored. If you can figure out the code the cards are punched by this has even more possibilities. You can often be just as effective without actually repunching the cards by redistributing them a few days after you collect them (particularly when they're used for attendence).
7. Start an information service to get new students opinions and warnings about the teachers and administrators before enrollment day.
8. Bad food? Have a good old fashioned food riot.
9. In gym classes or in hallways between classes have massive searches for 'lost' contact lenses telling people not to walk through the hall or 'you might step on it'.
10. If your school still has a dress code protest it having everyone do something disruptive that does not violate the code. For example, dye your hair green with food coloring.
11. Free all the animals in the biology classroom.
12. Write a 'consumer report' on the 'education' you've been consuming. Distribute it to parents at school functions.
13. Periodically have students go to the office to have some rumor confirmed or denied.
14. Perform citizen's arrests of administrators for destroying the minds of youth then telephone the police to come and take the criminals into custody. (This would be an excellent guerilla theatre action).
15. Rip off dishes and silverware from the cafeteria, towels from the gym, stencils and paper from the duplicating room, layout equipment from the art and drafting departments, tools from the wood shop, and light bulbs from the sockets. Give them to a needy movement group.
16. During lunch turn on and light all the gas jets in the science labs.
17. Demand to see your school records on file. (Everyone can see them.)
18. You can make a very effective fuse by inserting a non-filter cigarette in a book of matches so that it touches the head of some matches and will ignite them when it burns down that far. Then loosly crumple paper around the matches and cigarettes so that they are hidden. Toss it in a wastebasket or any other area with a lot of papers preferrably in the office. It takes about 5 minutes to ignite -- by then you can be on the other side of the building. Practice this at home before trying it.
19. Have giant coughing or sneezing epidemics in class or study hall.
20. Rub lipstick, glue, vaseline, or shit onto the doorknobs of the school's administrative offices.
21. Swallow some snake bite antidote then walk into the principal's office. The antidote (most types are harmless -- make sure you get that kind) will make you vomit. Do so all over his carpet, desk, clothing, etc. then apologize profusely.
22. Pick up some dog training liquid at any pet store -- it smells like concentrated piss. And if you can't figure out what to do with that then you shouldn't be reading this.
23. Remove contents of teacher's mailboxes. Print up everything that's confidential or interesting.
24. Leave notes and hints that 'Tuesday's the day'.
25. Impersonate parental voices and make irate phone calls to the office.
26. Make a super stink bomb out of Hydrogen Sulfide and put somewhere in the ventilating system. This has cleared school buildings for days.
27. If your school has a suspended ceiling (a ceiling composed of rectangles or squares resting on a frame so that the rectangles can be pushed up) you can put a dead fish -- or anything else -- above them. Or put it into empty lockers and glue them shut.
28. Put signs on your locker saying 'this locker will self-destruct if opened for inspection'.
29. Give your school library a subscription to a good underground newspaper from your area and insist that they make it available to students.
30. Print up false notices frequently using the same format as the school uses and distribute them to the teachers' mailboxes. Eventually they'll never know what to believe.
31. Make your own passes, forms, tickets, etc. or lift them out of teachers' desks.
32. Need a signature? Collect things that have teachers' signatures on them. Paste them all down on a sheet of white paper and either xerox or print up a bunch of copies. Forge when useful. (When getting started you might put a piece of carbon paper under the signature with the carbon paper facing down on what you want signed. Then trace over the name with a steady relaxed hand. Practice makes perfect.)
33. Do some revolutionary wall painting. All you need is a can of spray paint (red?) plus a little imagination and courage. Then write your favorite slogans on walls, sidewalks, blackboards, etc. If you are a perfectionist you can make a stencil, but that limits the size of what you can do. WEAR GLOVES or you will certainly get tell-tale paint on your spraying finger.
34. Are certain teachers or administrators misbehaving? Print up a rat sheet with their names and telephone numbers and distribute it.Now students can call up at any time and reprimand them -- 3:00 AM for example. Also you could order them pizzas ... plumbers ... think big!
35. Break into your school at night and burn it down. To get inside you can either hide in the building during the day and wait until the janitor leaves (know in advance what time that is), or come in later at night and either force your way through the door, find an open window, or break a window (see Monroe Mindfuck). If you use the latter method do it a few hours or days in advance so you don't get caught if it attracts attention. Be careful not to leave fingerprints -- wear gloves all the time if possible. Once inside make sure the walls will light well by placing loose paper or wood around them, or squirting lighter fluid, kerosene, or gasoline onto them. If a lot of burnable boxes are stacked in one area spread them around. Start the fire from the inside of the building so it will take longer before it can be seen from the windows. Make sure the fire has a way to travel from one burnable area to another. Of course you should wear dark clothes and know exactly where you are going when you split.
36. Get hold of a film to be shown at a school assembly and splice in parts of another movie of your own choosing before the assembly. A little imagination on your part will make for an unforgettable day.
37. Clog up the drains of sinks with clay then turn on the water after everyone leaves school.
38. Teachers often leave gradebooks, conduct sheets, and attendance records unguarded. Take every chance to help yourself.
39. Put up posters all around the school. To make them stick permanently use Pet evaporated milk for glue.
40. You could ice-pick tires as a warning -- but make sure you have a total enemy before you put sugar in their gas tank.
41. Start wailing in the halls.
42. If you can't find any skunks, let chickens loose in the school ...or pigeons.
43. Create the 'WEB OF THREAD' in your classroom. Have everybody in your class bring a spool of thread -- with extras for people who forget. Tie your thread onto something and pass the spools around till you run out, winding thread around everything. (It is best to pick on one of your more dullwitted teachers for this one). Expalin that you did it in the name of art.
44. Carry and pretend to sell oregano rolled in papers and aspirin with the name filed off.
45. Put Calcium Carbide (available in some parts of the country as 'Gopher- Go', also available in some hobby and joke shops) in a gelatin capsule and flush down a toilet or sink. Calcium Carbide reacts violently with water, quickly producing large amounts of HIGHLY FLAMMABLE gas and bursting pipes, etc. as soon as the water dissolves the capsule.
46. Ride a bicycle down a busy hall.
47. Save your book reports and essays. Give them to other students to use next year or re-use them yourself with different teachers.
48. Play with lighting and microphone controls during 'important' assemblies.
49. Flush things down the toilets (preferably faculty johns) like balloons filled with air, baseballs, M80's, huge amounts of toilet paper, etc. Then build an ark.
50. Start a campaign to have the letter Z appear everywhere as the mark of angry students.
51. You can short-circuit the school's wiring by taking a regular plug with a short cord attached. Connect the 2 wires with a switch between them. Plug it in, turn the switch on, and you've blown a fuse. Turn it off, pull it out, and try another. You don't have to use the switch, but if you don't sometimes the current will arc and weld the plug to the socket.
52. Set up a fake school and hire away the lousy teachers -- or put up notices inviting the entire school to a going away party for a teacher who isn't really leaving.
53. Read the school budget. Reprint and distribute a list of the stupid expenditures.
54. Take booze to lunch in a thermos and pass it around.
55. During some important test (SAT/ACT/etc. ) on each subject have some student who is good at that subject stand up and read the correct answers for as long as possible. When they're finished or silenced have someone else stand up and do the same thing. The test results will be worthless and it will have to be given over at great cost to the school.
56. Take down the American flag in front of the school and put up one of your own. The best way to do this is to lower the flag that's already up replace it with your flag and cut the rope about a foot below where the flag is attached. Then tie a slip knot around the other end of the rope that is hanging down to raise the flag. At this point there is no way your flag can be lowered without someone climbing up the flagpole.
57. Put alarm clocks in various lockers set on 'loudest'. Set the alarm clocks so they will go off about every 10 minutes then close and lock the lockers.
58. Have a group of people march around the school with a flag singing the Star Spangled Banner. If the administration tries to punish you telephone your local radio stations and patriotic groups and complain that your school is being run by pinkos.
59. In a class where there is a rule against chewing gum have everyone blow a bubble at the same time one day.
60. Many schools have automatic sprinkler systems which go off automatically when sensors in the ceiling feel too much heat. Find the sensors and hold up a match to them.
61. Persuade the graduating class to use their senior gift money for something useful or subversive.
62. Reprint School Stoppers Textbook in your underground paper or on a leaflet or buy bulk copies and pass them around.
63. Demand that all equipment being stored rather than being used be made available to students.
64. If your school won't have a teacher evaluation make up some forms and do it yourself. Compile the result and publicize them to students, faculty, school board, and community.
65. Use your 'free choice' book reports, term papers, etc. to read revolutionary literature and further the political education of you and your class.
66. Have a student lie on the ground. When a teacher comes scream 'he jumped' and point to the roof or third floor window. Mumble 'Fred dared him' or 'Maybe it was LSD.'
67. Make an address list of disliked adults in your school. Answer sex ads for them -- or order them a few gross items (C.O.D. of course).
68. Toss handfuls of BB's on the floors of busy halls, assemblies, graduation ceremonies, weddings, funerals.
69. Steal cafeteria trays or plates, burn large holes in them, and turn them into the school washer saying 'I guess the food did it'.
70. Leave phony letters of resignation from teachers or administrators on the principal's desk.
71. Get a small group to always carry screwdrivers and slowly dismantle the school.
72. Lots of bomb scares tend to break up the boredom especially during exams or on beautiful days.
73. Photograph teachers and administrators constantly -- even without film.
74. If you've got the nerve piss in your pants while giving an oral report.
75. Splice into your school's intercom system (from a remote hidden spot). Now you have your own guerilla radio station. Play on!
76. Drop large bottles of ether in science class.
77. Hang your teacher! Hang a hangman's noose from a tree - make a dummy and hang the dummy from the noose. Pin notes on it like 'Weatherbee in '73.' To add realism put holes in the body then let dilute ketchup trickle down.
78. Newspaper stands in buildings are usually left unguarded. Take out papers and replace with rotten comics or papers.
79. Put a rotten apple or stale sandwich on teacher's desk.
80. If your school intercom has phones that connect into the intercom switchboard, put a small magnet either where the cord comes out of the handset or in the part where you hear. If the intercom just has a speaker, put the magnet near or on one of the electrical connections of the speaker. In either case it will short out the system. It may take weeks for them to find the trouble.
81. Take the door of the administration offices off its hinges but leave it standing there so that when the principal tries to open the door in the morning it will have a slightly crushing effect.
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| HYPER!!HYPER!!HYPER!!HYPER!!HYPER!!HYPER!!HYPER!!HYPER!!HYPER!! |
| 03.10.05 (4:28 am) [edit] |
Take the quiz: "Your Psych-Ward diagnosis"
Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder
Diagnosis: (ADHD), formerly called hyperkinesis or minimal brain dysfunction, a chronic, neurologically based syndrome characterized by any or all of three types of behavior: hyperactivity, distractibility, and impulsivity.
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| dear martulka = eLmo0520 |
| 03.10.05 (4:19 am) [edit] |
Roses are red,
Coffins are black,
You lie in my dreams,
With aknife in your back..
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| HAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPY |
| 03.09.05 (2:51 am) [edit] |
Got a mohawk:)
So happy:)
And todays my birthday:)
And i got three b+ this week:)
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| Die |
| 02.22.05 (9:31 am) [edit] |
Die: You like your guys loud and obnoxious! Clad in
casual reds and greens.. No! It's not
Christmas, it's Die! Never too cold for those
sunglasses to shade your eyes from his heat.
Which Dir en Grey member should sex you up?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| Die's Hair. |
| 02.22.05 (9:19 am) [edit] |
Die's Hair. Short, spikey. Short...short...
It's not a bad look really. Perhaps your attention
is short like his hair? Try to keep focus,
stop joking about so much.
What Dir en Grey Anatomy Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| Seamus Finnigan |
| 02.17.05 (4:21 am) [edit] |
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| DRACO MALFOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| 02.12.05 (9:00 am) [edit] |
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